England can suck my old man balls

Stole this from IHeartChaos. They won't mind, cause they stole it from someone else. Heh.


http://view.break.com/530967 - Watch more free videos

"What is oozing out of our ground?"

Hoo boy. For the sake of sanity and being reality-based (yeah, like being a snack hamster really ties me to reality--hah), I present the following video clip.

Yep, this lady is nuts. She actually thinks rainbows are a new phenomenon and that it's just got to be something "oozing out of our ground." "This cannot be natural." "What the hell is going on?"

"What is oozing out of our ground?"

This shit wouldn't be so funny if it weren't true. I think.

Vagina Power

I shit you not. You must check out this video.

And oh, the phrase of the day is "govermint cheese."

I heart chaos rulez.

Followup post FTW

Turns out my post about that lady in Arkansas commenting on Daylight Saving Time was intentional comedy. Not legitimate. I'd tip my hat (if I only had one).

I been to Arkansas, and I believed it. Certainly plausible. That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.

This concludes my posts today (three!). You may all carry on.

Two posts in one day?!? Say it isn't so!

All right. Maybe this isn't technically funny, but it gave me a chance to make up a sarcastic headline, and that has to be worth something.

Then again, maybe not. A friend once told me if I ever had an original idea it would die of loneliness. Or maybe I should say, an ex-friend. Hee.

FTA*:

"I mean really, who cares? Oh for God's sake. Don't you have anything better to do that read this column?"

Do I know what a rhetorical question is?




* From The Article, for those Interwebs-impaired folks.

Wonkavator lands, smashes five-year-old

Teh Interwebs, they be funny. But we all really know what the web is for, right? Just be sure to keep your virus definitions, personal firewall, script blocker, web browser, router, operating system, etc., etc., updated with the latest security updates and patches. Safe text, indeed.

The headline? Apropos of nothing. It just sounded funny™.

ZOMFG! Priceless

Five-Tool Ugly

I'm always on the lookout for good memes. However, I'd rather be a meme disseminator than a meme collector.

You've heard of "one bag ugly, two bag ugly, coyote ugly"? Well, now we have "tool ugly". Sort of like "how many tools would you have to beat your head with to get the image out of your mind", or something like that.

Don Mossie is five-tool ugly. He had it all. Of course his mother was proud, but she didn't come out of the house all that much. Scared the neighborhood cats too much.

I can has dog-nosed Jesus candle?

Sounds like the name of a bad country & western song: "Gimme mah ole dog-nosed Jesus candle, boy / An' get outta mah way!"



Sorta looks like Kevin Smith, AKA Silent Bob.